What Brings You Here?
Communication problems are very common in relationships. Especially young marriages. Conflict ranges from how to do things to how to say things. Couples struggle with different tastes and preferences to different expectations and values. Too many couples resort to unwise choices to deal with their conflict including violence and divorce. They would benefit from learning to express themselves positively and respectfully and coming up with mutually agreeable solutions.
Marriage is a new experience even if it isn’t your first time married. You have to get to know your spouse and how to be married to them. This takes time and often professional help. I’m here to help you experience the love you got together for. Love is a terrible thing to waste. Especially when children are involved. No matter how done you are with your spouse there is hope for your marriage. I’ve had many couples humbled to realize their marriage was spared and they actually felt “In Love” with each other.
To improve communication and move forward you will need to:
Position for change
Understand your spouse
Understand your marriage
Learn we-win negotiation
Know what to focus on
Create your marriage plan
Celebrate the new marriage you have created
My transformation plan is to lead you through this Marriage Communication course which includes nine modules over a 9 week period with a combination of prayer, self-study, therapy, coaching, and group dynamics.
Marriage is built on trust. Without trust you don’t have a marriage. Many couples experience broken trust on the way to the alter and struggle throughout their marriage because of it. Others make bad decisions that are devastating to the marriage planting the seed of doubt in the mind of the betrayed spouse. Others come to the marriage with distrust and project that onto their faithful spouse only to drive a wedge in the relationship. Unfortunately for many couples they limp along for many years unable to resolve these trust issues.
Rebuilding trust requires a different type of effort for each spouse. The betraying spouse must discontinue the behaviors that led to the distrust and live as an open book with nothing to hide while building self-confidence. The distrusting spouse must establish measurable behaviors that their spouse can exhibit to build confidence in being trusted again while building self-confidence.
Whether you have been lied to, an affair has occurred, or you just don’t trust people, trust can be rebuilt. Compulsive behaviors can be overcome. The path forward includes:
- Understanding the breach
- The betrayer accepting responsibility to repair the breach
- The betrayed willingness to rebuild trust
- Working through the Marriage Communication course
- Working through Discovery & Disclosure issues
- Working through Reaction & Crisis issues
- Gaining Understanding & Clarity
- Granting Apology & Healthy Grieving
- Forgiving & Healing
- Hoping Again
- Cooperation & Reconnecting
- Rebuilding (Addressing Unresolved Issues, Trust & Addiction Recovery)
- Restoring Intimacy
My transformation plan is to lead you through these 13 steps over a 6 month period with a combination of prayer, self-study, therapy, coaching, and group dynamics. This plan includes three courses: Marriage Communication, Affair Recovery for the Betrayer, and Affair Recovery for the Betrayed.
Our sexual relationship in marriage is complex. In simplest terms your sexual relationship is a reflection of how well you communicate with one another. Your ability to effectively resolve conflicts and ask for what you want from each other is directly related to your sexual relationship. Improving your marital communication will improve your marital intimacy even if there are physiological factors involved.
Married couples who go for long periods without sex are suffering when they don’t have to. There are many helpful strategies to address sexual problems including Erectile Dysfunction and Vaginismus. Many couples struggle to get in the mood and need some ideas on getting on the same page. It is very important for couples to enjoy a mutually satisfying sex life.
To enhance your sexual intimacy and move forward you will need to:
- Work through the Marriage Communication course
- Establish mutual responsibility for intimacy
- Identify the barriers to intimacy
- Remove the barriers to intimacy
- Incrementally restore intimacy at a mutually agreeable pace
My transformation plan includes the Marriage Communication course and a 4 week Intimacy Restoration course with a combination of prayer, self-study, therapy and coaching.
We are creatures of habit. It is very difficult to unlearn what you have learned. There are some learned behaviors that are contrary to marriage. This includes compulsive lying, infidelity, pornography, compulsive spending, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, gambling, gaming, etc. Many times we are to be directly blamed for these habits. Yet in some cases they are inherited generational curses no fault of our own. Regardless of their source these behaviors take a priority over your marital responsibilities resulting in a strained love starved relationship. Restoring a marriage broken by addiction and bad choices requires recovery from the addiction while rebuilding trust.
Habits can be broken. Broken hearts can be mended. New patterns of thinking and behavior can replace unwanted ones. If you want something different for your life and marriage you simply have to decide to do something different. You must be positioned to face the difficulty inherent in the process of change. Anything worth having is worth working for. What you focus on you cause to happen. You may stutter and stumble to success or you may gain success in one valiant leap. Nothing ventured nothing gained. The genius is in beginning.
The path forward in recovering a marriage from compulsive behaviors includes:
- Improving communication
- Addressing the compulsive behavior
- Replacing the compulsive behavior
- Rebuilding marital intimacy
My transformation plan to to help a marriage recover from addiction and compulsive behaviors includes leading a couple through the Marriage Communication course and 12 months working through the Couple’s Life Recovery course with a combination of prayer, self-study, therapy, coaching, and group dynamics.