For couples who are tired, but not done
You don't have to keep having the same argument. You have to change the pattern that's producing it.
For couples who keep trying but find themselves in the same exhausting cycle. Learn to recognize your pattern, take responsibility for your part, and practice a new rhythm.
Book a free 15-minute call →By video · no cost · no pressure
The NORM Rhythm Program · 6 months
Both levels run for 6 months. The free call helps you choose the one that fits your marriage.
Therapy with Joe is separate from both levels: 26 sessions over 6 months at your insurance's contracted rate, or $5,200 if you pay yourself. Insurance never pays the program fee.
Fifteen minutes by video with Joe. Tell him what's going on, and see which level fits, or whether therapy on its own is better.
Book a free 15-minute call →Not ready for a call yet?
Take the free Pattern Finder →Free, right here on the web. It names the pattern loop you're caught in.
Don't Give Up on Love is the framework Joe uses with couples, written so you can start at home. The paperback is free; you pay shipping.
Money, kids, chores, sex. The topic changes. The argument doesn't.
You talk it out, you promise to do better, you try again. A few days later, you're right back where you started.
Neither of you feels heard. Neither of you wants out of the marriage. You both want out of the cycle.
The real problem
Most couples come in trying to win the argument. We change the pattern instead.
Every couple has a pattern loop: something one of you says or does sets off the other, and the other's reaction sets off the first, round and round. Neither of you chose it. Both of you are stuck in it.
That's why trying harder hasn't worked. A loop changes when you both see it, and each of you changes your part in it.
Different topic.
Same pattern.
The method
Joe's method for changing a pattern loop. You use it in the moment when the old pattern starts, and across the whole 6 months.
Truth-based love is love that can be heard, seen and felt, not just hoped for. Your loving actions match your loving words.
In their own words
Before: "Every question we'd ask one another was just met with this tension… you're so exhausted just from the frustration of trying to talk to each other."
Lance & Amanda, who worked with Joe in couple and individual sessions alongside his Romance Enhancement Program. Shared with their permission. Their experience is their own; every couple's is different.
What the 6 months look like
Structure every day, not just one hour a week, so the work doesn't stop when the conversation does.
The program and your therapy sessions are priced separately. ·
How the program works
You each take the Pattern Finder. It names the pattern loop you're caught in, and the beliefs that keep it running.
In therapy with Joe, you sort out what's in each of your control and what isn't, and practice a new way of talking and listening.
One loop a day in NORM Rhythm and Romancier, plus the weekly Pattern Lab and its workbook. Every loop you complete is one turn of a new pattern loop.
Each month you retake the Pattern Finder and review what has moved, in your own answers. Check-ins in between keep you on track.
Every month you see your progress in numbers: your Pattern Finder retake, side by side with the last one. And by month 6 you show each of the nine skills, or we keep going free.
Most therapy is one hour, then a week on your own. Here you practice every day, with check-ins when the old pattern shows up.
In therapy, you work as a couple and each on your own, so each partner works on their side of the loop.
Joe built the tools himself from 40 years with couples, so your sessions, your daily practice and your Clinical Progress Reviews all follow the same plan.
The program and your therapy sessions are priced separately. ·
Who you'll work with
Joe has worked with couples for 40 years: as a pastor since 1986, and as a licensed marriage and family therapist since 1999. He is the author of Don't Give Up on Love and the founder of Lifestyle Therapy & Coaching.
He built the NORM Rhythm tools himself, because he wanted couples to keep practicing between sessions and to see their own progress, not take his word for it.
Alabama LMFT L214 · telehealth anywhere in Alabama
The NORM Rhythm Program comes in two levels, and both run for 6 months.
Therapy is 26 sessions over 6 months at your insurance's contracted rate, or $5,200 if you pay yourself.
Not ready for a program? The Pattern Finder is free, on the web or in the NORM Rhythm app.
·
| Sessions | 26 sessions over 6 months: a couple session every 3 weeks, and individual sessions for each of you in between. Your first session is your orientation. |
|---|---|
| With insurance | Your insurance's contracted rate. You pay your usual copay or deductible. |
| Self-pay | $5,200 for the 26 sessions. |
| In-network with | Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama, BCBS Federal Employee Program, TRICARE, UnitedHealthcare / UMR, Cigna, Aetna and others. We check your benefits before your first session. |
| On its own, or with a program | Therapy works on its own. You can add the Accelerator, or do it as part of the Intensive. |
Start anyway. Book the call yourself. You can begin with individual sessions and the Pattern Finder, because a pattern can change from either side. Your spouse can join later.
Yes. Sessions are by secure video, anywhere in Alabama.
The therapy sessions, if your plan covers them. We check your benefits before you commit. The program fee pays for what insurance doesn't: Clinical Progress Reviews, the Pattern Lab and workbook, the apps and check-ins.
It adds structure between sessions: daily practice in the apps, a weekly Pattern Lab with its workbook, monthly Clinical Progress Reviews and check-ins. And you measure your progress by retaking the Pattern Finder, so you can see what's changing.
Fifteen minutes by video. You tell Joe what's going on, ask your questions, and together you see whether the Intensive, the Accelerator, or therapy on its own is the right fit. No pressure, and no obligation.
Then Joe will say so, and point you to what fits: therapy on its own, the Accelerator, or the NORM Rhythm app.
Please reach out for help now: call or text 988, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you are in danger, call 911. This program is for couples who are tired, not for anyone who is unsafe.
Let's find the pattern, and practice a new one together.
Book a free 15-minute call →By video · no cost · no pressure · or take the free Pattern Finder
Before you go
Don't Give Up on Love walks you through the five C's of a strong marriage, with something to try in every chapter. The paperback is free; you pay shipping.
Get the free book →