How to Stop Arguing

I hate arguing with my wife. Even though we still have our moments, we have significantly reduced the number of those arguments. I am grateful that our arguments are much less intense and that we now recover quickly. But how did we get to the point we’re at now?

I had to make a decision. I had to stop blaming my wife for the arguments. I had to start working on my 50% of the problem. I had to start putting in action the things that I had been teaching my clients. I had to learn how to control my emotions and my behaviors. And when I changed – she changed. That really makes you wonder who had the problem then.

Because you are two different people you are going to argue. Why? Because you have different perspectives, different experiences, different tastes, different fears, different strengths, different weaknesses, etc. Rarely do people end up with a spouse that’s exactly like them in every way. So of course there are going to be some arguments, but there are ways to curb their intensity and destructiveness.

There are several secrets to stop arguing with your spouse and build a happy marriage.

Four Secrets to Stop Arguing

  1. Learn to respect your spouse’s differences. You must not only accept them for who they are but also appreciate their different perspective. 
  2. Learn how to communicate your thoughts and feelings without disrespecting your spouse.
  3. Learn how to negotiate and reach a we-win outcome.
  4. Learn to control your emotions.

My online course, “How to Stop Arguing and Build a Happy Marriage” contains everything you’ll need to learn how to stop arguing. It includes readings, activities, videos and exercises that will help you and your spouse become better communicators. The content is drawn from my thousands of hours working to help couples stop arguing and start communicating. Not only will you learn more about the secrets to stop arguing, but you’ll finish the course feeling closer to each other and wishing you had done this years ago.

family therapist in Alabama

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Do you want to stop arguing with your spouse? Does your marriage need help? Attend my next “How to Stop Arguing & Build a Happy Marriage” webinar where I share the secrets to a lasting marriage. Click the button below to sign up.

Joe Follette, Jr. LMFT

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