Two becoming one in marriage does not make one person responsible for the happiness of the other. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. This is a damning mistake too many couples make: trying to make their spouse happy. There is no end to that pursuit. This is our personal responsibility.Your responsibility is to love your spouse. Loving them is mostly pleasing them, but sometimes it means saying “no.” Loving your spouse requires you to understand them and your relationship. When you understand your spouse, it is easier to respect them for who they are instead of trying to change them. To appreciate your spouse, you must understand their personality, strengths, and growth areas.

The five love languages (talk, touch, task, tokens, time) is a great way to conceptualize what you need to do to love your spouse. Failure to love one another is usually the underlying reason for arguments. A secret cure for arguing couples is to spend more time together.

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Joe Follette

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