You are an individual! After getting married, many forget that they are still individuals. You must not lose your identity in marriage. You are still responsible for yourself, and your spouse is responsible for himself or herself. Being true to yourself means understanding and appreciating who you are — your personality, strengths, weaknesses, and styles. Understanding yourself will help you make better decisions and enjoy better relationships. You will be better able to discern what to say “yes” to and when to say “no.”

Where do you feel anxiety in your body? Which of your behaviors are unhappy about? Are you aware of your thoughts that drive those behaviors? Do you know how to change those thoughts to produce better behaviors? Many times we blame others for how we feel and act. But no one has the power to make you feel or behave any particular way. Taking responsibility for your feelings and actions is the only way you can make the changes you desire in your marriage.

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Joe Follette

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