Marriage is a wonderful institution created by God. Like the church it is an institution God intended to accompany us on our pilgrimage through life. However, despite God’s original plan man often insists on having his way. Instead of these institutions being a permanent part of our lives we see them as functional as long as they serve our interests. After we have felt unfulfilled for a while we may find ourselves drifting away in search of fulfillment. Many leave their marriage and church family in search of love, fellowship and peace. Like the early pioneers in search of gold many leave what they have known in hopes that the unknown will make the difference they are seeking in their lives. Many do find the chance to meet their expectations of better obtained after leaving home. But so many more find themselves still unfulfilled at the end of their search. And let’s not forget the children whose hopes have been dashed to pieces.

I have counseled many individuals on their third and fourth marriage. Not only are people church hopping these days but they are also hopping from one bed to the next. Because of our instability, love, fellowship and peace are not possible. It is during the difficult and dry seasons that God uses to perfect or characters. So we find ourselves cheating ourselves by starting over over and over again.

Just because the road is rough is no reason to get off. Every time you get off the road you make the trip longer. You are not going to feel “in love” on this journey called marriage the entire trip. The talk about the honeymoon being over is not a joke. If the honeymoon continues then your marriage is not normal. Most couples have to work hard to keep things interesting because of our short-term memory problem. No, just because the feelings are gone is no real reason to divorce someone. The two of you should have more in common than that emotional buzz that lovers get. Your marriage should be a mutually satisfying relationship, partnership and companionship. You should be getting much more out of your marriage than those infatuation feelings. Those feelings come from time to time. But more often than not it is the decision to love one another unconditionally that lasts.

Many remember when they met Jesus the first time. They felt chills from His presence. But this first love experience doesn’t usually last more than a little while. But just because you don’t feel those warm feelings all the time doesn’t mean you are no longer close to the Lord. If you have a relationship with Jesus He goes along with you on this journey called life.

Feelings are very important. They are very informative. However we must be careful to not make decisions based on emotions alone. Emotions come and go. There are things you can do to improve how you feel. You are responsible for how you feel anyway. If you are not feeling it then start planning to do some things together that you enjoy. Have some fun. Enjoy your marriage. If you have some unresolved problems go get some therapy. Take my Sizzling Hot Marriage Maker course. Don’t just complain – fix the problem. And you will feel better soon!

Joe Follette

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